In which I am reduced to lolcat. And footnotes.
Pawnotes? Never mind.
1)First, we have to talk about the hat.
I will preface this by saying a) I lived in Michigan for a while. So while I am not personally a big fan of hats, and am bemused by the cultural prostration in front of Aretha Franklin’s, I accept their utility in the winter months. And b) I get that there were probably not too many opportunities for washing hair while jaunting around from base to base. The most important thing, clearly, is the fact that he went to entertain the soldiers, so I was not expecting GQ ensembles.
None of this explains why we can no longer see Cook’s eyebrows.
To sum up: Tuque. Ur wearin it wrong.
2) Many of us were pleasantly surprised by the massive amounts of promotion that occurred during the first week of American Idol, and even more pleasantly surprised by the surge in sales for both the album and the single. But even the video for Light On got a nice boost in iTunes sales, and has passed 2.3 million views on Youtube. One could certainly attribute that to the rest of the promotion, and his continued VH1 spins.
But I not-so-secretly think that the big push came from many students returning to school, who really responded to the hidden message of the video: Mah brainz, let me show you them. You don’t have to put out for assholes.*
3) In a remarkably clever move, Cook’s management has decided to distract us from his inability to alter the space-time continuum by answering another question.^
We can haz platinum certification?
Yes, we can haz.
* Or nice guys, either. But still. Resonance!
^ I am aware that there were other factors involved than just physics. And my hope is that there will be some shifting later in the year so everyone has their brief history, and time.
“None of this explains why we can no longer see Cook’s eyebrows.”
That’s to the point! A superb and witty distallation (as usual) of the recent happenings in Cookland. You get a gold star:)
He must’ve been on the site, cause looks like 180′d it on the E! News interview and it looks looser on the new vlog. See Love your writing btw.